Shutter Island Could Have Been the Best Movie Ever

THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS A SPOILER.

I love movies.  Seriously, I freaking enjoy the crap out of them.  When I saw that Martin Scorsese would be directing the new blockbuster Shutter Island and that Leonardo DiCaprio would be playing the leading man, I was a little super excited.  The trailer (which involved the creepiest balding woman I've ever seen shushing the camera...*shiver*) had me sold eveb before the MPAA general audiences warning had finished.  Recently though, a complete lack of free time has prevented me from making a trip to the theatre.  On the plus side, I figure it'll be less crowded after the initial throngs of viewers die down.  Anyway, my good friend (whom we will refer to as the Harbinger of Sadness) had seen the movie already and was telling me about how ridiculously awesome it was.  Her descriptions of "insane plot twists" and "@#%!ing crazy !@^&" just made me want to see Shutter Island even more.  Oh Harbinger of Sadness...you just had to rain on my parade.

By dropping a big old...

SPOILER.

Seriously?  You couldn't wait to talk about the ending until AFTER I'd seen the movie?  Did you see my face melt when you shared the news?  I know that you didn't mean it.  After all, you merely wanted me to join in on your excitement regarding the extremely complex plot of a really great movie...that I hadn't seen yet.  I just want you to know, oh Harbinger of Sadness, that when I finally do get to see Shutter Island, I'll be thinking of you.  After all, my mind will be free to wander about the theatre; there will be no piecing together clues or solving the mystery for myself because I already know...

HE WAS CRAZY THE WHOLE GOSH DARN TIME.

So let this be a lesson to us all:

When discussing a touchy topic such as...I don't know...the ending too a movie that I kind of desperately want to see, wait until I'm out of earshot folks.

And tell me, have you ever been a spoiler bomber?

Later guys!

Cam

Why I Kind of Hate TOMS

Ok, before I start let me get one thing straight: I promise I'm not a bad person.  Charity is a great thing, and I'm all for helping others.  However - the prospect of TOMS shoes makes me want to club an infant seal.  I first saw Tom, (my first assumption was that the brand was named after a person, but apparently that makes too much sense) whose real name is Blake Mycoskie on TV.  My retinas were burned with sad, impoverished children whose hopeful little hearts made mine break.  As the commercial plays, Blake descends like an angel from above bearing...shoes?  All right...I figure this could count as my good deed for the day, so I head to the online TOMS store and click on the "Mens" tab.  The first thing that caught my attention was the price tag.

"$68 FREAKING DOLLARS?  Seriously?"  To keep my eyes from twitching too much, I mutter to myself, "Do it for the little African children who really need shoes..."  After footing the bill, my conscience is lightened and I'm actually excited when the shoes arrive in the mail.  Unfortunately, my size nine feet didn't really match my new size nine shoes - at all.  "For the children Cam, for the children..."  After wearing them around town and having increasingly large numbers of people inquire about the strange slippers adorning my feet, the last shred of patience was wearing thin.  Then, on the way out of the grocery store, I managed to trip on the curb...AND RIP THE %@!& SHOE.  That's right kiddos, my big toe now sported a brand spanking new breezeway.  The shoes are just shoddily made - plain and simple.  I guess poor kids enjoy wearing shoes that last for no longer than 5 minutes.

After this epic fail, my rage extended to the company itself.  What were they thinking?  I imagine it was along the lines of: "Hey look.  Your country is facing a brutal civil war, an AIDS epidemic, and a good portion of its population is starving to death.  Have some craptastic shoes.  Excuse me while we go back to California and count the money we made off of the stupid indie kids who were dumb enough to pay for the same craptastic shoes."  I guess what I'm trying to say is this.  Shoes don't prevent AIDS.  Shoes don't feed hungry mouths.  Shoes don't stop bullets.  (But from what I saw in the commercial, shoes make kids better at soccer.)  While the whole foundation of TOMS shoes is built on good intentions, I think it's time to focus on some of the more pressing matters at hand.

With all of this being said, LET THE HATING OF ME BEGIN!
Much Love,
Cam

Oh, hello there...

To the three people that are reading this:

I don't know how you got here, but chances are you're in the wrong place.  Perhaps you were scouring the interwebs for a fantastic meatloaf recipe.  Maybe you were just looking for pr0n and clicked the wrong link.  Either way, this empty shell you have stumbled upon is actually a blog.  That's right folks, I've hopped aboard the trendy train and birthed a baby blog!  You're probably saying: "Awesome, now what?" and honestly, I haven't the faintest idea.  In the end I'll probably talk about what makes me laugh, cry, fume, or scratch my head in utter confusion.  What it all boils down to is that I'm gonna do my best to get this thing going, so stick with me for awhile; we'll see how it goes!

Until next time my children,

Cam