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| Just a picture to take up space. It's an advertisement...relevant? I think yes! |
"Aside from the feng shui of my page, ads are also on my mind. You see, I've managed to find a new addiction...pillaging the limitless bounds of gloriously disturbing craigslist posts that exist today. Don't worry, I've learned to stay away from the personals section, more commonly known as the human trafficking section. *Shudder* Some of the stuff people put on that site is insane! For example this post entitled "To the Owner of this Sprite Can" was taken word for word from the Houston area lost and found page. It reads:
"Hi I am sure that you must be looking for it, as it was in fact half full when you lost it. No? Well I just wanted to let you know that I found it in my mailbox and was very appreciative of the gift you had bestowed upon me. As a newly single mother of one six month old baby boy it was a joy neigh, an immeasurable pleasure to end my day dragging my ass out to check the mail while on my third day recovering from pneumonia (just two short days after leaving the hospital) opening my mailbox expecting mail, maybe some news on my child support case that I desperately need after I so very recently found out that my fiancé was fucking around on me while 6 months pregnant with his child...but I digress...No, what I found was not said mail but your missing Sprite can, carefully tucked away. So I did what any rational person in my situation would do. I taped him to a sign and put him up at the entrance to our neighborhood for all to see and hopefully just maybe on your way home from work, school, or wherever the hell you go during the day he will catch your little eye and you two will finally be reunited for good. You can do whatever you want with him, throw him away! recycle him! keep him if you want but let me make myself perfectly clear, if he or anything else EVER ends up in MY mailbox again I swear to God I will hunt you down and make you squeal like the little pig that you are."
"Hi I am sure that you must be looking for it, as it was in fact half full when you lost it. No? Well I just wanted to let you know that I found it in my mailbox and was very appreciative of the gift you had bestowed upon me. As a newly single mother of one six month old baby boy it was a joy neigh, an immeasurable pleasure to end my day dragging my ass out to check the mail while on my third day recovering from pneumonia (just two short days after leaving the hospital) opening my mailbox expecting mail, maybe some news on my child support case that I desperately need after I so very recently found out that my fiancé was fucking around on me while 6 months pregnant with his child...but I digress...No, what I found was not said mail but your missing Sprite can, carefully tucked away. So I did what any rational person in my situation would do. I taped him to a sign and put him up at the entrance to our neighborhood for all to see and hopefully just maybe on your way home from work, school, or wherever the hell you go during the day he will catch your little eye and you two will finally be reunited for good. You can do whatever you want with him, throw him away! recycle him! keep him if you want but let me make myself perfectly clear, if he or anything else EVER ends up in MY mailbox again I swear to God I will hunt you down and make you squeal like the little pig that you are."
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| Here's the Sprite lady's picture! |
I freaking love crazy people. If this is what happened when someone put a can of soda in her mailbox, what do you think she did when she caught her boyfriend sleeping around? Even skimming over the titles can tell you a lot. Here are a few things people are looking to obtain or get rid of on craigslist.
"a man's touch"
"Great Chinese Massage by Amy"
"FREE MANURE"
"~**Beautiful Diaper Cakes**~"
"2 Yr. Old Billy Goat"
"Jackie Kennedy Doll"
"WHISKEY BOTTLES"
"Need a teenager?"
"!*!*!*!*STAY AT HOME MOM WILL CARE FOR YOUR CHILD*!*!*!*!"
Again, these were all taken off of the Houston area craigslist page. I know what I'm putting on my Christmas list this year...beautiful diaper cakes and a great Chinese massage by Amy! Seriously, this list definitely sums up every and any useless / wtf thing I could have ever wanted.
So next time you're bored and have nothing to do, just drop on by your local craigslist page - the freaks are waiting for you!
Cam
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