Spring Fever

I wake up to the sound of bluebirds, twittering outside my window.

Sunlight streams softly through my blinds.

With a large stretch and an even larger yawn, I climb out of bed to greet the day.

"Good morning world here I c-"

I stop.  "Oh dear God..."

There's jizz everywhere.

Now, before everyone jumps to conclusions let's get one thing straight: I'm talking about pollen, because yes, it's that wonderful time of year.  As the winter thaw commences (or in Texas, the temperature rises above 80 degrees) Earth experiences a new beginning through a season called spring.  Spring is pretty awesome actually...sans pollen that is.  (Give me anything but the pollen, I BEG YOU)  No matter how many Zyrtecs, Claritins, or Benadryls I choke down in the morning, the valves controlling the pressure in my sinus cavity go haywire 100 percent of the time.  The little spores coat everything, and I mean everything.  And of course the trees decide to get their freak on AFTER I've spent a good chunk of my day washing and waxing the damn car.  I mean, who knew the expression "love is in the air" could be taken literally?  But with all of these plants running around and fornicating like animals - pardon the expression - we're essentially breathing in their love juices!

Gross.

We met again...Little yellow agents of Satan...

Anyway, my point is the whole idea of spring kind of sucks for me because of the allergies.  It's so bad that when I walk around with puffy red eyes and snot streaming out of my nose people think I'm just really really really sad.  Most people understand when I tell them "I harve arregies. *sniff*"  However sometimes I'm just really tempted to say something like "My favorite endangered species, the Abor Bug-Eyed Frog has just become extinct.  I can't quell the emotional tidal wave flowing through my body right now."  That way, I don't sound like a total wuss.  Either way allergies suck.

Spring is still kind of nice though, even if it is just foreshadowing the crushing, stifling, God-awful heatwaves that are a mere month away.

With that being said, I need a cool drink.  And an antihistamine cocktail.

Cam