Pants Should Cover Your Buttocks

Move over Larry Platt, a new pant protector is in town, and he means BUSINESS.  This time, New York Senator (and NYPD captain) Eric Adams is out to crack down on well...crack.  Will he be able to successfully pull people's waistbands up from their deepest, darkest depths?

HOW CAN THEY EVEN WALK?

OK that's enough with the awesome terrible saggy pants jokes.

Seriously though, Adams recently started an ad campaign to fight the epidemic of low riding jeans that has swept our nation.  He set up six enormous billboards in Brooklyn at the first of the month to raise awareness about the..."dangers"...of such a horrendous fashion statement.  The signs show male models with their pants clinging on for dear life at the lowest elevation possible, which in turn leads to exposed knickers.  Such graphic images are displayed next to deep, truly insightful statements such as: "Stop the sag!" and "We are better than this!"

Photo by Kristopher Radder
Oh Lordy!  Shield your children's' eyes!

First, when did someone decide that promoting a public dress code was worthy of political capital in the first place?  Second, before we throw money into such a matter, shouldn't we try and clean up in more important areas first?  From what I understand, Adams funded the project using campaign funds.  However, I don't see how this would attract voters as a successful campaign strategy - it might even get him capped if he sets foot inside the wrong neighborhood.

Taking the title "fashion police" to a whole new level.

Adams' argument is that since the fashion originated in prisons across the US during the 1990's, young people are essentially emulating convicts; naturally we would want to avoid this.  Still, they're freaking pants.  PANTS PEOPLE.  If you don't wear them properly it just looks like you never learned how to dress yourself like a normal human being, and that my friends is punishment enough if you ask me.

Cam